Men’s and women’s perceptions of intimate relationships and expectations from a partner differ in many aspects. Men cherish mutual respect and companionship and commit to a serious relationship only when they see advantages in losing their freedom.
A guy almost immediately understands what course your relationship will take. But how to know what he wants to stay on the safe side? Luckily, you can spot several clear telltale signs before it’s too late.
This article will help you determine how to tell what a guy wants from you based on his behavior and actions. The following questions will serve as your roadmap. Answer them as sincerely as you can.
Let’s dive right in.
Does he make time for you even when it’s inconvenient to him?
When a guy is ready to commit, he will not play hot and cold. He won’t appear in your life for a day and then disappear for several days without any explanation.
A guy with serious intentions will not postpone meetings with you for unknown reasons. You should be his priority - he will find time for you no matter what.
“A man who is truly interested in a woman will find an endless number of reasons why he must see her,” says relationship expert and writer Charles J. Orlando.
“A man who is just playing around–or confused about his own feelings–will find an endless number of excuses why he didn’t show up.”
Does he ask you on a date at the primetime?
Typically, a guy who fancies his partner would ask them out on Friday night, and then Saturday, and Sunday, not to mention other days.
But if you only meet on Mondays and Wednesdays, then he’s probably seeing someone else on the weekend or simply doesn’t care that much for you to spend the most valuable time of the week with you.
Even if your boyfriend has a hectic work schedule, he will find a spare moment to send you a text message if his interest in you is genuine. He will also respect the boundaries of a healthy relationship and won’t ask you to do anything you wouldn’t like.
Did he introduce you to his friends and family?
When a guy intends to build a long-term relationship, he wants his partner to become a part of his life in all its areas. So, your boyfriend doesn’t only rush to tell you about his family and friends but actually lets you communicate permanently.
He cares about how they treat you and what you think of them. He wants you to become friends with his relatives and fit into his circle.
Your boyfriend would also like to meet your family and make a good impression on them because he intends to communicate and be friends with them.
On the contrary, if your boyfriend doesn’t introduce you to his nearest and dearest, and it’s been six months since you started dating, it means that he’s not sure whether he wants you in his life.
“Men who don’t want to commit, try to keep their relationship hidden,” says Mat Boggs, a relationship coach.
“But the man who loves you is going to share it with the whole world.”
How often does he call or text you?
If you’ve dated for at least several weeks or months, look closely at how often he reaches out to you. If he texts once a week, it’s not a good sign. But how to know what a guy wants from you at the early stages using the same rule?
For early daters, the gap between phone calls and messages should not exceed three days.
A guy who is really interested in you would contact you pretty much every day because he wants to stay on your radar constantly. Even during a working day, he will find a spare minute to send you a text message.
Also, notice what time he chooses to contact you on the phone or social media. If you talk to him only in the evening or late at night and only about when he should come over, he probably doesn’t have any serious relationship plans in mind.
What kind of conversations do you have?
There’s a wide misconception that men do not talk as much as women and avoid deep conversations. In reality, they gladly discuss things that worry them with their romantic partner, according to the Psychology Today survey.
Analyze the topics you touch upon when you talk with your boyfriend. Does he tell you about his family, friends, working day, dreams, or fears? If he shares all of those and more, you can be sure that he’s into you and perceives you as a part of his life.
It is a perfect opportunity to try and find out about his plans. You can ask a few indirect questions, such as how he sees his future. A guy who’s ready to settle down would reveal it straight away.
If he starts beating around the bush with vague answers, he’s clearly not prepared to commit.
Another type of conversation style is when a guy talks a lot about himself and is not interested in your life.
If he brags about his job or vice versa complains about every little thing, and that’s everything you talk about, he’s not looking for a life partner but rather a temporary admirer or a shoulder to cry on.
Are you exclusive?
A polyamorous relationship is not uncommon, and some couples actually prefer it that way. About 4% to 5% of Americans are engaged in non-monogamy, as reported by CBS News.
While exclusive relationships don't work for this tiny percentage of couples, it’s safe to say that most solid relationships are monogamous.
If your boyfriend openly dates other people, he’s not planning anything serious at the moment or just fills missing time slots with your help.
Is he consistent and reliable?
When a guy wants a serious relationship, he will make it clear to you. There are no gray areas when you think about your future because your boyfriend talks about his plans that include you. You feel there is a solid connection between the two of you, body and soul. These are the clear signs of a relationship that can progress into something more: a marriage, family, life-long commitment - you name it.
If your boyfriend has a habit of changing plans at the last moment leaving you behind, it should set off the alarm bells. A man who’s not emotionally available will constantly be rescheduling your dates and making it a new normal.
Such a pattern won’t likely improve in the future or let your relationship progress to another level.
Another sign of inconsistency is when a guy sends you mixed signals. For example, he doesn’t contact you for more than four days after a date where both of you had fun or announces that he’s not ready for a serious relationship but keeps you on the hook.
Mixed messages like those indicate that the guy only wants to stay in a casual relationship and won’t commit anytime soon.
Does he give you presents?
Any gift, however small, is a sign of attention. “A guy must be evaluated based only on what he does for you,” believes Matthew Hussey, a life coach and an author of several books about men’s romantic behavior.
A man who is invested takes the time to get to know you well, and his gifts will be a testament to his expert grasp of your likes and dislikes.
Although men do not always make the best choices when buying a gift for their significant others, receiving the wrong gift is better than receiving nothing at all.
Sometimes, a guy “forgets” about his girlfriend’s birthday or other meaningful days on purpose. It is a sort of pushing-you-away tactic.
This way, they try to piss you off and make you give them more space, which is a dangerous symptom. This relationship is not worth saving. Don’t waste your time.
Do you justify his actions all the time?
How many times did you have to find excuses for your boyfriend’s lack of attention? If your answer is zero, skip this passage. If you know the feeling, keep reading.
The most common situations you probably experienced were the following. A guy stays out of reach for several days. “He must be very busy at work,” you would say to yourself.
He doesn’t talk much about his life, job, family – “He needs more time to trust me.” He spent his vacation, days off, or holidays apart from you – “No big deal, couples often take a break from each other to recharge their feelings.” And so on.
Your mind can be so inventive when it comes to justifying your boyfriend’s absence in your life. The ugly truth is that he’s uncertain about what he wants with you or keeps you as a second option while looking for someone better.
Either way, he’s not ready for you.
Does he value your opinion?
The ultimate reason a guy proposes is that he understands that his world will be better with you in it. If he confides in you, asks for your advice, and really listens to what you say, it means that he values your opinion.
A guy without genuine interest in you does not want to accept your point of view.
He will not ask you for help to solve any problems, because in his social circle (at work or among friends) there will be experts on this topic who understand everything better than you.
Thus, your boyfriend will devalue you and your significance in his life.
Is he around when you feel sick?
In sickness and in health, remember? Now, this might not be a typical behavior at the early stages of your relationship.
But if you’re together for at least a few months, and your loved one finds more important things to do than come to you when you feel under the weather, then you should hardly expect any positive progress from your relationship.
Try to remember how your boyfriend acted when you were sick. If he didn’t get in touch for several days and didn’t help you when you asked, he does not appreciate you.
If the above questions have convinced you that your boyfriend is determined to create a stable and reliable connection with you, congratulations.
If not, do not despair and be grateful that you will no longer waste another second of your valuable time on the wrong man. You need someone whose level of investment in a relationship matches yours and who can provide you with emotional support and safety.